If it be Thy will.

When we first decided to try IVF (Invitro Fertilization) again, it brought back a flood of emotions. Was I strong enough to handle the hormones? Would I be hospitalized like last time? Would it work? Or did our "luck" run out with Emma? Would we spend $18,000 for positive or negative results?

With our doubts and questions came fervent and pleading prayer.

And each prayer began with "If it be Thy will..."

Because if I learned anything through my IVF cycle with Emma, it was that I needed to have faith in Heavenly Father's plan for me, and not in the outcomes.

As children of God, knowing of His great love and His ultimate knowledge of what is best for our eternal welfare, we trust in Him. The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and faith means trust. - Dallin H. Oaks

This time around we have been VERY blessed to have our will align with the Lord's. As we got wonderful news this morning that the IVF worked and I am pregnant again.

I won't feel "out of the woods" until I hold that precious baby in my arms. Especially as women with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) have a higher rate of miscarriage.

But this is a great start.

The baby is due on Emma's birthday - January 11th (poor child). We won't know if it is a singular baby or plural babies for another few weeks.

Thanks for all your prayers and support. We are THRILLED to say the least.

Patience is my new middle name.

I am not by nature patient. Never really have been. Greg definitely wears the patient pants in our family, and for that I am grateful. Cuz I ain't got none.

These past weeks however, have proven to be weeks full of patience lessons.

I have to exercise patience as I wait for our IVF results. These last few days have literally inched by for me. Will Thursday ever come?

I have to exercise patience as I follow doctor's orders to "take it easy" with no exercise, no heavy cleaning, and no lifting of objects over 5 pounds. UGH. It really is harder than it sounds. Especially for a busy body like me. And especially with a 33 pound toddler who has a mind of her own.

So instead of eating lunch, she does this...

And instead of taking a nap, she does this...

And instead of taking a bath, she does this...

Honestly. Try "persuading" a toddler to do ANYTHING without being able to lift up the child during moments of defiance. Which happen regularly. I have to give myself an extra 30 minutes to get anywhere - as I wait for her to put on her shoes, gather up any necessary trip accessories, get out the back door, get through the back patio (on which sit all of her fun outdoor toys), through the gate, into the car, and finally into her car seat. All without carrying her. It really is much more challenging than you would expect.

Thank goodness for my sweet, wonderful, most helpful Mother who came for 10 whole days to help my pitiful plight. I am forever indebted to her hard work helping us through this experience. I needed her care as a child and I needed her care as an adult. Do we ever cease needing the love and attention of Mothers?

But I digress... back to my patience lessons.

I exercised patience when our big box television died (thank you Leavitts! we loved it thoroughly for 3 years), on the ONE day I was not supposed to move. Really? Greg and I looked briefly for a new television online, only to discover that big box television are evidently outdated and archaic. Like, they don't even sell them in stores anymore. This was news to me. I have been known to "live in the past" a little longer than most (i.e. hotmail account, VHS, poofy bangs) - but I'm just not ready to spend the money on a flat screen yet.

Luckily, our patience was rewarded and we got yet another big bulky television for FREE from JJ and Zac. Nicest TV we've ever owned. Maybe by the time this one dies, we'll actually join the land of the living and buy a television without a 2 foot back side. Until then...

And I exercise patience with hormones. But unfortunately, this time the hormones are not mine. They belong to my daughter. And I'm starting to wonder if she snuck into my IVF meds.

The stars aligned today, and I found the "Chipmunk Adventure" (circa 1987) at Red Box. Emma loves the Chipmunks and my childhood was shaped by watching this movie repeatedly. So, I blew the $1 and rented the movie.

At one point in the movie, the Chippettes sing a "touching song" to a baby penguin who was cruelly ripped away from it's mother. Emma was captivated. But, when I looked closer, I saw HUGE alligator tears rolling down her precious little cheeks. When I asked her what was wrong she replied, "I so sad for penguin. Penguin misses his Mommy." She then ran into my arms and began sobbing, muttering muffled phrases of "so sad" and "penguin Mommy". I then reassured her that the penguin would indeed find it's mother.

It was one of the cutest/saddest moments of her little life. How could she become so emotionally involved in a cartoon at such a young age? Especially with my genes. I'm not a movie crier.

For those of you that would like to relive a childhood cartoon or cry big alligator tears yourself, you may view the referenced song below...

Wish patience weren't a virtue, because I've still got a long way to go.

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Giving Thanks.

Thank you little embryos for staying healthy and happy. And thank you body for cooperating through hyperstimulation.

We had our transfer of embryos this afternoon. The doc was able to implant two very healthy and strong embryos. The surgery was quick and painless and all went smoothly. We'll find out the results next Thursday, April 29th. Don't call me, I'll call you. :)

Sure, my belly is so big from bloating I look like I'm about 4 months pregnant... but my Sports Illustrated Swim Suit photo shoot isn't for another few months, so my body should be back to it's incredible physique by then. Phew. Boy would my agent be mad.

Below are pics of the little ones. I showed them to Emma and said, "Here Emma, come look at this picture of your baby brother and sister", to which she stared at intently and retorted, "cute!". I guess low expectations breed pleasant outcomes, right?

Thank you Bon Jovi for providing my hilarious joke every night. Greg has to give my one HUGE OL' shot of Progesterone in my booty every night. The needle is large and the medicine is in sesame oil. Ouch. But, thanks to Bon Jovi and my keen sense of humor :) I sing:

Shot through the butt -
And you're to blame -
Darling, you give love a bad name.

How could that ever get old? I dare say, NEVER.

Thank you to the following author/books for keeping me entertained through the last week. Being sick has not been AWESOME, but I do love reading, and I have enjoyed a variety of good books.

Thank you my sweet Emma for keeping me entertained during my mandatory 24-hours of bed rest post-surgery. She proudly knelt on a chair and performed this sweet Primary song. OK, maybe I bribed her with 5 jelly beans, but she did it.

And a special THANK YOU to my AMAZING Mom and Husband for taking such good care of me. I have been the laziest slouch ever this week, and they have attended to my every need. Seriously the best. I owe them a HUGE high five for sure.

Procreation Station

The first surgery is done and all is (mostly) well.

The best thing about the surgery is the sexy blue booties that adorned my feet. They are very fashion forward at my surgical center. Obviously.


They were able to retrieve 11 eggs. 8 of them were mature and 5 of them fertilized into embryos. We will know more on the status of the embryo quality as the days progress.

The bad news is that my silly ovaries decided to hyperstimulate. Again. My doctor has been watching me like a hawk - but the nature of IVF will always have a chance of hyperstimulating the ovaries.

The good news is that it is not as bad as the hyperstimulation with Emma's IVF. I was hospitalized for 5 days after that procedure and in horrible pain. This round is extremely uncomfortable - but not something I can't endure. Imagine the biggest meal you've ever eaten in your life, times your bloated feeling by 10 and you'll understand my current plight.

It's hard to move around, but I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday, so I hope that I'm on the slow mend. Thank goodness Greg is around to take care of Emma and my Mom is here from Kentucky for 10 days. What ever would we do without family/friends support?

If all continues to improve, we could have 2 of those 5 embryos implanted sometime next week. Hopefully the remaining 3 could be frozen for a later implantation.

Thank you so much for all your well wishes, good luck greetings, and prayers. We felt them in a very real way on Thursday morning and throughout.

It takes a village to make a baby.

Forget the traditional "birds and bees" discussion you got from Ma and Pa.


Greg and I like to take the road less traveled. And one very long, expensive, involved road it is.

We are scheduled for the first portion of our Invitro Fertilization (IVF) surgery this Thursday morning. As I prepare mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually for this procedure I have been reflecting on the VAST numbers of people it takes to make a POTENTIAL baby. Amazing really.

1. Me
2. Greg
3. Dr. Zoneraich
4. Jen (Nurse responsible for IVF organization)
5. Phlebotomist (multiple times and multiple nurses)
6. Kristen (Financial Consultant)
7. Anesthesiologist for surgery
8. Embryologist
9. Surgical Assistants
10. Pharmacists
11. Pharmacy Consultants
12. My pin cushion belly for accepting the multiple shots
13. Multiple various nursing staff to assist in appointments
14. Aubrey - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
15. Krista - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
16. Sharron - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
16. JJ - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
17. Lena - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
18. Krisha - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
19. Erin - Babysat for blood draw and ultrasound
20. Laura - Babysat for most of the initial consultations with Dr. Z
21. My Mom - Come to AZ for 10 days to help take care of me and Emma
22. Linda (MIL) - Babysitting Emma day of surgery
23. All the friends who offer support and prayers
24. All the family who offer support and prayers
25. Emma for her patience through this process
25. Jesus and God - I think their part is obvious. :)

WOW. Interesting to get that all down on paper. We feel so grateful for all of the people that are willing and able to assist in this process. We quite literally could not do this without this group.

I've had a lot of people asking questions about the actual process that is about to occur. For anyone interested the following steps are part of IVF:

Stimulation: Daily gonadotropin injections (typically 8-11 days) stimulate the ovary to make numerous follicles which contain the eggs. Careful monitoring with ultrasounds and blood tests allow your physician to make necessary adjustments to your treatment regimen and minimize any complications from the powerful fertility drugs. Once the follicles have reached their ideal size, a subcutaneous injection of HCG mimics your own body’s hormonal LH surge which causes final maturation of the eggs prior to harvesting (retrieval).

Egg Retrieval: Occurring 35-36 hours after receiving the HCG shot, the oocyte retrieval is performed in our dedicated procedure room within our Center. A board certified anesthesiologist will provide intravenous sedation to prevent any pain or discomfort during the procedure. Under ultrasound guidance, a very thin needle is passed through the upper portion of the vagina into the ovarian follicles and the fluid containing the egg is aspirated and subsequently identified by our embryologist in the adjoining laboratory.

Fertilization: After retrieval, the sperm preparation obtained from the male partner or sperm bank is placed into a specialized culture solution with the egg. If intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is to be performed, this is when it will occur. The egg and sperm are then placed in a specially regulated incubator and observed over the next 18-20 hours to determine if successful fertilization has occurred. Once a sperm fertilizes an egg, it is considered a zygote which then develops into an embryo. The embryos are then transferred to a different culture media and grown over the next 2-6 days. Any additional procedures (i.e. assisted hatching or PGD) prior to transfer of the embryo(s) into the uterus will be determined on an individual basis. Some embryos may also be cryopreserved (frozen) at the end of the culture period.

Embryo Transfer: This brief, painless procedure involves the use of ultrasound guidance while the embryo(s) are placed into the endometrial cavity of the uterus either 3 or 5 days (blastocyst transfer) after fertilization, using a small highly specialized plastic catheter. No sedation is necessary for this procedure. After transfer, progesterone supplementation via injection and/or vaginal suppository will be taken for the next 10-12 days and a blood pregnancy test will be performed approximately 2 weeks from the retrieval date. Blood hCG levels will then be checked every 2 days for those who do have an initial positive pregnancy test. An ultrasound will be performed at approximately 5-6 weeks of pregnancy and repeated several times throughout the first trimester after which time, you will be referred back to your Ob/Gyn for appropriate obstetrical care.

27 months old... going on 27 years old

Our little Emma is constantly doing and saying things that keep us laughing and amazed. I thought I would capture some of her latest and greatest moments this month, so I can remember someday.

(BTW - the pic is from a hiking Superstition Mountain on Sat with Laura and Brynn)

• She is obsessed with "Princess and the Frog". I found some little bath tub books at the dollar store and she carries them with her around the house. I downloaded some of her favorite songs to the IPOD and she requests them all day long. When they start to play, she dances without a care in the world.
• Emma has discovered the joy(?) of making yourself "toot". If one slips out she will laugh hysterically and then turn red in the face trying to make herself toot again. Thank goodness she is still in diapers.
• She really loves putting together puzzles and will spend hours trying to make them fit together. The horse passion has also ceased to subside.
• She and I have found the joy of 1930's Mickey Mouse cartoons on You Tube. They are all under 10 minutes long and I enjoy watching them as much as she does. They bring back some SERIOUS memories from my childhood. No, I wasn't raised in the 1930's (NO DOY!) - but they were shown as re-runs on the Disney Channel when I was little. Check it out sometime.
• There is an awesome SNL skit with Adam Sandler and Chris Farley where Chris's character exclaims, "Ravioli! Holy Canoli!" - so, whenever we feed Emma Ravioli we exclaim the same. Evidently Emma has picked up on this. When I told her I was making guacamole the other day, she promptly retorted, "Guacamole! Holy Canoli!" I laughed so hard she repeated it all night long, waiting for my laugh.
• She has learned out to do a somersault in her dance class. It took her a week to get it down, but now she is very proud to show anyone who will watch.
• Emma has watched me give myself IVF shots in the stomach a few times and the other day, I saw her with her shirt lifted and her Donald Duck Pez Dispenser at her belly. When I asked her what she was doing she replied that she was giving herself a shot in the belly like Mommy. Wouldn't the world be a better place if shots were distributed via Pez Dispenser? Nice idea Emma!
• She sang her first musical number at the Westchester Retirement Center with Greg and I. I specifically chose "I am a Child of God" knowing that it was one of her favorites and most comfortable. Greg and I brought her up with us. She stared quietly for the first few lines, and then began to confidently sing along as we finished all three verses. The elderly people loved it and Emma was very pleased with her performance. I'm sure we'll have plenty more opportunities to sing together as a family.
• While watch March Madness basketball games, Greg and I would frequently yell at the TV "Come on Kentucky!" - as Emma's favorite thing about Kentucky is the Kentucky Derby, she quickly came up with her own yell of "Go Kentucky Derby Basketball!". Now if that wouldn't be a sight? Horses playing basketball? Take that Duke! Try and win the championship now!
• We've been reading little kid scripture stories with her for awhile. The other night, she was exhausted and I was hammered as well. I thought I would just throw her in her PJ's and plop her in bed, until her little voice said, "and read scriptures and say prayers". Pretty sad when your 2-year-old has to remind you to do the important things.
• I created a little photo book of all the Apostles so that General Conference could be more interesting for her. She is VERY invested in knowing people and their names. We are still working on most of their names, but she did get down the First Presidency and when President Uchtdorf started speaking she about passed out in excitement. I think she may have a little crush.
• Much to our dismay, she has started a mild obsession with garbage trucks. She was on a walk with my Aunt Sharron when the garbage was collected on her street. Emma was so animated when she described the "long arms" and the "empty trash". She now makes Greg sing her songs at night about the Daddy Garbage Truck and the Baby Garbage Truck. I told Sharron I was gonna blame her if she went into "Waste Management" as a profession.
• She has an amazingly impressive memory with music. I am playing "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" in Tempe Symphony and decided to show her the Fantasia version on you tube. About TWO weeks later, I was listening to the music on my IPOD and when she heard it she came running up to me asking to see Mickey and the brooms. How could her little developing brain remember that piece of music from so long ago and correctly associate it with the video even when the video wasn't being shown? And she did it again, with a Norah Jones song that she heard once and then recognized two weeks later. Crazy how able their minds truly are.

We just love our little 27 month old bundle of happiness and joy!

We hope to add another one to our family with the IVF process coming up. The surgery is schedule for this Thursday. I take my last pre-surgery shot tonight and then we'll see the doc at 8:15am for show time! My body seems to be taking the added hormones a little too well, and there is some concern than it could make me exceptionally ill. We're praying for the best. Amazing what we do to bring these little balls of energy and love into the world?!?

Sometimes it pays to be cheap!

Greg and I saw this guy in concert last night - FOR FREE.

My family decided to buy a ticket to the Michael Buble concert for my sister Laura for Valentines Day. When they asked if I wanted to be her "date" - I told them I didn't really want to pay $90 to see him in concert - so we asked her best friend Brynn to fly in from LA to attend the concert with Laura. Laura was thrilled!

Yesterday Greg called me to say that the law firm's box seats for the Michael Buble concert had become available - would I like to go? Um. YEAH! Heck Yeah! So a special thanks to Fennemore Craig who graciously sponsored our evening. Their box seats are pretty much the closest box seats to the concert stage. IT ROCKED! Nice to be super close to the performer, but my favorite perk of the box is the private bathroom and free snacks/drinks. Simple minds. I know.

I scrambled for a babysitter (THANK YOU ZAC and JJ!!!) and at 8pm we were nestled into our box for the concert.

I do think Michael Buble has a great voice, and I really really really LOVE his original songs. But, I didn't know what to expect from his concert. Let me tell you, next time he's in town, I'd pay the $90 out of my own pocket. The concert was fantastic. I was PLEASANTLY surprised to discover that he is quite funny and a true entertainer. He had me laughing pretty hard at times. Who knew? Not me. Made for a very amusing concert.

And he really sang AWESOME! I always respect a performer more when I hear them LIVE and it sounds better than their recordings. Sign of a TRUE musician. I still love his original songs best and get a little bored when he sings his "covers" - but my SIL Ashlee informed me that this is what they do in their jazz/crooning genre, so I'm willing to accept the copycatting with some pieces of originality.

Thanks Michael for an enchanting evening and thanks Uncle Fennemore for footing the bill. Guess the law firm life isn't so bad after all. :)

Called to Serve

Meet my darling brother John.

He's currently a freshman at BYU and I am 13 years his elder. (Don't do the math alright. I'm 32 in July, OK? Now you happy? I did the math for you. GEEZ.)

I have 5 brothers and John is #4. He is now the fourth Krebs boy to submit mission papers to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He will devote two years of his life to serving the Lord and we are so proud of him and his decision to do so.

Drum roll please....

He was called to serve in the London, England mission and will report to the Missionary Training Center on August 20th.

CONGRATS JOHN JOHN!! WE LOVE YOU!!

Our Easter Weekend

We had a whirlwind weekend with an excessive amount of fun and sugar. This picture really has nothing to do with the weekend, but I thought I'd throw it in for kicks.

Emma: Mommy, I bring you pen. (attach a guilty face)
Mom: Emma, what have you been doing with this pen?
Emma: (no response, just turned and ran away)
Mom: Emma, where have you colored with this pen? (I just KNEW it was all over the couch)
Emma: I color my belly! (Lift shirt and show proudly!)
Mom: Oh. That's much better than the couch.

To enjoy Good Friday and the gorgeous Arizona weather we went to the zoo with some friends (and the rest of the Phoenix Metro Valley). We had such a great time! We even got to bring along Alex, which was a real treat!

All the animal varieties in the zoo - and what does Emma yell for at every turn? "I SEE HORSES MOMMY! I SEE HORSES!". Here she is on the playground horse. She pretty much parks her little rear end on the horse the entire time we are in the park area. I'm sure other children would like a turn sitting on the horse, but when they get close Emma gives them a glare and they don't want to bother. Nice.

And yet again. Sitting on another horse with her friend Isaac. She let him on with her, but only after much persuasion and I believe a candy bribe.

Friday evening we had dinner with our friends Lev and Lena from Ukraine. She made us a traditional Ukrainian meal which was AMAZING. I was in charge of dessert. Now if these cookies don't say "Hey People! Easter is around the corner and we're gonna celebrate" - I don't know what does. Don't ask about the whiskers alright. I didn't have anything that would work - so what - my bunnies don't have mouths. No big deal.

Saturday we enjoyed General Conference for the LDS church and then went over to Greg's parents for some Easter festivities. His cute Mom let the kids dye Easter eggs, color sugar cookies and sent them on an Easter Egg Hunt. We even got a family Easter basket. Here Emma is doing her favorite Easter activity - EATING CANDY. We had such a great time! Emma sure loves her Grammie Lou and Grandpa Ray!

Easter morning Emma woke up to a little Easter basket - complete with a few dollar store coloring books, and most importantly CANDY, a Sesame Street book about horses and her VERY own stick horse. The moment she saw it she screamed with delight, stuck it between her legs, named it "Jockey" and has not let it go since. No really. It went with us to Kohl's, Book Club and WalMart today and she screamed a bloody fit when I wouldn't let her take it to dance class.

After another few wonderful sessions of General Conference, we went to my Aunt Sharron's for the traditional Easter meal. Ham, Potatoes, you know the drill. YUM!! We enjoyed the dinner with many friends and family - and it was complete with an Easter Egg Hunt set up by Sharron and Laura. Emma had so much fun running around looking for eggs - but her favorite part is always plopping down and opening the eggs for candy!

Any time spent relaxing on gorgeous grass means it was a wonderfully relaxing afternoon.

As if the weekend was not enough FUN, Monday evening we gathered with lots of friends from High School and College for a little reunion at the park. Jeff Trapnell and family were visiting from Utah and we had a super fun time. I had my camera with the intention to take pictures of everyone, but wouldn't you know it? I only captured shots of the little ones and their precious faces.
Emma and Beck had a great time - but don't let her precious smile fool you. She gave us a horrible scare earlier in the evening, but running away and sitting by a tree that was hidden from our view. It was dark and we couldn't immediately see her. Those two minutes I spent looking for her, were some of the worst in my life. Thank heavens she was safe and protected and wondering why we were all screaming her name. When I found her she simply said, "Hi Mommy! I running away with my friends." Let's hope I don't hear those words again when she's 15.

It was a wonderfully fantastic weekend and we enjoyed time with so many friends and family! Sometimes I get exhausted by all of the many places we spend our time, but then I sit back and tell myself to shut up and appreciate that we are surrounded by so many people who we love and love us in return. So incredibly blessed. I feel especially blessed to have the knowledge that our Savior died and was resurrected for me and everyone on the earth. What a truly joyous reason to celebrate Easter!